Silly thought

I’ve just read an article on Facebook. It’s from a girl who told a story about her friend. That girl had been in love with a man for about 7 years. When they were in love, they fought many times but always got back together after it. But one day, after a fight like usual, she just left her boy friend forever to move on with another man who was hitting on her at that time. Then she got married with that new man 1 year later and lived her happy life. The lesson according to the author of this post is no matter how long your relationship is, you just need to find a right person at the right time. Leave your old package behind.

I think the author was right. But I feel that this story is related to mine. People know that the girl did make a right decision and having a happy life after. No one even asks about how that that man is going. I mean, after they broke up, the girl just accepted another one’s proposal. But that man, did he have anyone that interested in him?

If that guy was like me, then he would have nothing else but his girl friend!

He would have no money, no time, no self-caring, no self-respect, no other desires, nothing at all. He would have to build his whole world again after it collapsed on the day she accepted another’s proposal.

 

Bad mood

It’s been a month since the last time we were together.
I accidentally saw the picture of you last night. And today, your Instagram account showed up before my eyes. I couldn’t help myself from clicking to your name and I saw some more photos of yours.
All day long your shadow drowned me up. I see your face everywhere, I think about you everytime.
I see your zalo news, so many pictures you posted, so many words you said, one of them is you think you might deserve something more.
It’s true, I knew all the way long. I tried my best, I did what I can to make myself worth to you.
But you left me eventually. No matter how hard I tried I lost someone I love the most.
This feeling I’m having now is really bad.
I wish I could cry for awhile, cry on the sad song I’m sing.
I will keep fighting myself, keep lying to myself that I can get through this, that I’m able to forget anything about you.

Stressful days

I’m writing this for you, my girl that someday I would have.

Right now my left eye is hurting me so bad ’cause I didn’t sleep well lately. Well, actually I hardly sleep well at night, it’s like a dream to have a dream when I’m not sleeping. LOL

You wanna know why do I can sleep well, don’t you?

Never mind! My life is now really boring and that’s all your fault for not showing up. I’m in college, well, I’m 5th-year-student now. The last year seems really hard, a lot of things to study, a lot of documents to write, a lot of future worries to think about. Also, I’m doing a project on my own, a huge project that I’m working with. ALONE.

I’m got stress, all of these pressures, I couldn’t fight it myself. I wish you were here right now. Then I can tell you all my problems, you will listen to it and tell me that “You’re doing well”. I also wanna hear about your day, anything that you want to share with me.

Life would be so much easier if I got you beside me. So please stop hiding!

Repeated Mistake

Few days ago, my friend back to Vietnam from Japan. He asked me to meet him in Hai Phong, so I got back to Hai Phong.
Beside meeting my friends, I talked again with my ex again. She texted me and said her computer keybroad didn’t work, so I helped her out.
My job was delayed, so I didn’t have to go to Hanoi right away. I stayed home some more days. So I got so much free time, I spent a lot of time for her. She said her teaching thing was going great. People complimented her always, students loved her, teachers loved her, everyone loved her. I could see that, I was happy for her then, indeed.
But sadly, she didn’t feel the same for me, turned out when I spent my time for her, she thought I had nothing to do. She said like I just stayed at home and got fat while she was working so hard.
She hasn’t changed anything, still feel about me like normal people do, nothing special. The special that I believed or I always want to believe she would get me better than anyone else in this world.
This is a mistake, I’m not going to talk to her more.

I’m feeling lost

Today I got an email from a company I applied 4 days ago. They turned me down once again. I was quite confident that I could get that job, but guess what? I failed.
Life is getting harder, only one more year left for me. My life is heading nowhere, I earn money, quite much money at my age, but I don’t really like doing it. I want to find a better job, wanna work in a better environment.
I’m so alone, I don’t know, everytime life gets hard, I feel lost

It’s over

I had a chance to talk to her, we talked a lot.

I wanted to move on, I asked her to be my girl-friend.

But she turned me down, She had her own reason that was not because of me.

She didn’t wanna be in love.

I respect her decision, and said I would stop hitting her

End of story about my crush!

I’m so confused

I’ve just got home from a trip with her-the girl I’ve told about.

It was so weird, I avoided every single time she was near me. I just walked ahead or behind her silently. She’s really cute, this feeling about her is now harder.
From the early morning to the late afternoon, she was with another guy. I thought that I’d already lost my chance to be with her for once but miracle happened after that.

By somehow, I got a chance to drove her home. That wasn’t a long road, 3-5 minutes in total I guess but it was quite enough.

I wanna tell her my feeling for her but I’m so scared to take the “No”, I don’t even know for sure if she had someone for her own.

That should be take a little more time for me to let her know, but I’m worry that might be just tommorow someone else would take my chance.

That leads me now to make my decision.

To tell her about how I feel about her

Or just keep my mouth shut

I really like this girl, which one should I choose?

One more, I’d come to dead end but I can’t just turn around and get back

About the girl I’ve told in the last article. We’re gonna take a trip together tommorow.
“In a trip together”-that sounds great but she’s gonna bring a guy with her. How sad is that.
I can imagine that scene when I silently walked behind them all and watching someone else take care of her.
This feeling for her should have not happended. Now everything is going to be awkward

I can’t do anything by now, it’s too late. Just try to courage myself once more time and let this end

My crush

I met a girl in late july last year, then on the last day of that year I met her again.
What a coincidence!
I don’t know how but she looks exactly the same as my ex-girlfriend. I though about her every minute of the day ever since that night.

I told my friends what I felt about her and then they tried to help me with her. But I was the problem, since I knew I had feeling for her I couldn’t even stay near her. I just watched her secretly, avoid her eyes, tried to not let her see me. Classic me!

I can see there’s no way for me to be something of her, but I’d already in love with her so I’ve just unfollowed her on facebook, I guess that was the only way to get her out of my mind. Just the short time, just a crush. I’ll be fine!

What a lonely time

There are three days left to the lunar new year. I supposed to meet friends, hang out a lot. But now I just stay around my house and have no destination to take.

Never in my life I felt so tired of this holiday.
Last year, my girl-friend left me, I was so sad, lonely and empty on this holiday, and this year it’s even worse